Monday, December 1, 2008

Montgomery Burns



Montgomery Burns' biggest accomplishment is he once attempted to block out the sun to force Springfield residents to increase their use of electricity produced by the Nuclear Plant and was subsequently shot by Maggie; Homer Simpson has claimed to have been the one who shot Burns and framed Maggie for the crime in "Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times." The town routinely is subject to Burns' abuse and there is a general dislike of him throughout the town. Burns resides in a vast, ornate mansion on an immense estate called Burns Manor, located at 1000 Mammon Street, on the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in the 'Springfield Heights' district. It is protected by a high wall, an electrified fence, and a pack of vicious attack dogs known as "The Hounds even though they are most likely German shepherd mix," one of whom is named "Winston." At times, he has employed for protection a force of Wizard of Oz-style guards, a personal paramilitary force, a riot police squad, and a robotic Richard Simmons. The inside of the mansion includes a room containing a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, a bottomless pit, a human chess board, the largest television in the free world, a 'Hall of Patriots' commemorating his ancestors, a laboratory, a botanical garden of vultures bearing his likeness, a safe containing a Beefeater guard, a model train that takes 3 hours and 47 minutes to complete its circuit and comes back with snow on it, and a theater showing round-the-clock plays regardless of whether there is an audience. The mansion is also home to many rare historical artifacts including the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, King Arthur's mythical sword Excalibur, and a rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it. Burns has been engaged at least three times: a woman named Gertrude who died of loneliness and rabies, to Jacqueline Bouvier, and to a policewoman named Gloria. He once had an affair with Countess von Zeppelin.

Burns' state of mind is the subject of frequent jokes on the show. At times, he appears to be completely removed from modern conventions and, sometimes, reality. He continually fails to recognize Homer Simpson or remember his name, despite many of the recent major events in Burns' life having involved Homer in some way. Burns is also for the most part unaware of the townspeople's general dislike of him. His lack of knowledge was showcased in "The Burns and the Bees", in which he is shown to have no knowledge of 20th Century history past the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Mr. Burns uses archaic phrases and old time expressions that have either changed meanings or fallen out of common usage in American English, including score (meaning 20), twain (two), post-haste, petroleum distillate, velocitator and deceleratrix (a car's accelerator and brake. He also answers the telephone in the same way that the man widely credited for the invention of the Telephone, Alexander Graham Bell, is purported to have answered it ("Ahoy, Hoy?"). In one episode, he also rings Smithers and says, "Smithers, come here, I want you." A take on what are reputedly the first words spoken by Alexander Graham Bell on his telephone. He also displays mannerisms which are considered outdated, such as practicing phrenology, writing with a quill pen, driving a Stutz Bearcat while wearing an Edwardian motorist's outfit which includes hat, driving gloves, and goggles, carrying a mace for self defense, driving without regard to traffic laws in the manner of early 20th century motorists, and using an antique view camera to take photographs. In Homer at the Bat, to secure victory in the game, Mr. Burns decides to hire major league stars and assembles a team that includes Honus Wagner, Cap Anson, Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown, and a right fielder who has been dead for 130 years.

Charles Montgomery Burns was named Forbes #6 richest fictional character! Here is the full article.

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